Yesterday started out like every other day since we've gotten home from China. Tia woke up, fed her breakfast, cleaned her up and got her dressed. And as usual she was crying and clinging to my legs like there was no tomorrow as I was cleaning up the kitchen.
Then she stopped. I watched her walk a few steps to the dishwasher and start playing the magnetic farm toy that her Aunt Debbie, Uncle Duane her cousins gave her for her first birthday last Saturday. She started jabbering away and I continued on with cleaning the kitchen.
Then she moved into the living room and started pulling the movies off of the shelf. Then she walked over to the pantry and realized that she could pull the food out too! So I had about 50 movies and food scattered all over my living room and kitchen.
Throughout the day I was doing some housework and she was wondering around the house just jabbering away and just having a grand 'ol time. She was chasing the cats and then the dogs. She was doing "laps" from the kitchen to the living room, to her bedroom, bathroom and then back to the living room. Later we walked down to my sister's house so she could play with her cousin Abby (she's 3).
After we got home I started preparing her dinner. Like usual she was crying because I had put her down so I could do something. She would usually cry for about 5-10 minutes and then that would be it. But not last night.
I am not sure what made her so mad, but she had decided to throw a good 'ol fashion tantrum. I mean, threw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. I had never seen her do this before so I was totally surprised. But I just continued on with dinner, after all it wasn't going to make itself as daddy was closing and wouldn't be home until 10 pm.
When dinner was finally ready I picked her up, crying and tantrum instantly stops and I place her in her highcahir. As I was feeding her her dinner, she was back to her normal self, jabbering away and waving at me. After we get all cleaned up from dinner and get into our pj's she's just tooling around the house, pulling down more movies and giving the fur-babies a run for the their money - again or maybe it should be still?
As the night wheres on she's starting to get fussy and rubbing her eyes. I grab her blanket and we rock for a few minutes before I put her down to bed for the night. While I'm rocking her, I realized what a incredibly awesome day we had. It was a day that I always dreamed of.
There were several milestones yesterday. Tia feeling comfortable and safe in her environment to "run around the house" like I hoped and prayed for. Everyday she's showing such huge improvements with her adjustment to her new life.
But the thing I'm most proud of is me and the fact that her crying and tantrum didn't bother me like they did before. As she laid on the floor throwing her tantrum, I just talked to her and continued on with I needed to get done without losing it.
For the first time since we've had Tia, I felt like a real mother. It is an incredible feeling!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
OMG, we REALLY are PARENTS!
When we FINALLY landed in Rapid City on January 21 we were greeted by a homemade banner, balloons and roses from my wonderful family! There were many emotions flowing at that time in addition to tears. For 3 weeks there was no contact and for me, that was very hard! I am the type of person who has to talk (and talk and talk and talk) to at least one member of my family almost daily, whether it be by text, phone, e-mail or in person. Words cannot express how GREAT is to be HOME with friends and family!
While were in China we got to see some amazing sites like the Great Wall, The Forbidden City, Tienanmen Square and a jade and silk factory with other families who were also there adopting through Holt. As an extra treat to ourselves we went to a Chinese acrobatics show. Our hotel room was a corner room on the 15th floor. Beijing was gearing up for their Christmas and Chinese New Year so the city street was lined with blue lights at night it was just beautiful view from our room! The breakfast buffet was mouth watering to say the least! Just anything you could think of was there and was delicious!!
In addition to us, there were seven other families flying into Guangzhou on January 9. All of us would be meeting our babies the next day at 2 pm. There was a mixture of parents who were adopting again and first time parents. These amazing people become your "family" through adoption. Together we will be completing our adoption journey together.
After we got checked into our room and was all situated, I started freaking out. What am I doing? Can I do this? What if she doesn't bond with us? These were just a few of the questions racing around in my mind. Thank goodness there were others there who felt the same and some of them are parents already to either adopted and or biological children. That was comforting to know that I wasn't alone.
On the "GOTCHA DAY" I was surprisingly calm. When we finally got to the 8th floor of the Chinese Civil Affairs Building with our group, it was complete chaos! In previous videos we saw some sort of order but that was not the case. We did get video of our "GOTCHA DAY" moment but it wasn't as we had imagined it to be. But the video footage we did get was the IMPORTANT part - the hand off!!
Tia.... She is what the Chinese call "spicy" and she is that for sure! She has eight teeth (and working on cutting her back moellers), lots of hair and always has a big loving smile on her face! Even after she wakes up too! She was just learning to walk and it wasn't long before she was tearing up the hotel room! And like her mother, she's always chabbering away!
Since we all bonded so well in China, I HONESTLY thought everything would be the same when we got home as it was in China. Um, yea, NOT! I mean we are still bonded, but the house is not the hotel room. The hotel room didn't have 2 mini beagles who follow her every move or her own room with a much nicer and cushier bed. Home has all these new smells, new rooms and new people who are suddenly there wanting to hold and kiss on her. Something I'm sure she's not used to.
Home for me has also been a challenge. We all came home sick, me being the sickest. So you combine that with jet lag, hormones and lack of sleep you have a lovely combination for an emotional breakdown. Which I did end up having, in the car on the way home from the phamacy. It was definately long over due. I did feel better afterwards, but still......
We knew parenting would be hard. We knew it would change our life as we knew it. And we were accepting of that after 10 years of marriage (in July) and years and years and years of trying and finally waiting. But what we didn't know was how much of a change it would be. First time parents really just don't know or realize the change and there is no way of preparing for the reality of it. Of course we've babysat for my sisters and my mom does run a daycare, but these kids could be "sent home" when you had your fill. This is just not the case!
Then there are all the emotional fears and thoughts running through your head and the questioning of EVERYTHING. I am constantly texting my sister and asking her "what should I do" questions. And now with Sam back to work and it's just me, Tia and the fur-babies. I feel bad because I'm constantly getting on Sadie's case to quit licking Tia or Bandit to quit stealing her cracker. My poor fur-babies are constantly getting scolded and then Tia is constantly at my feet crying to be held. I pick her up she stops crying. After a few minutes, I put her down and she starts bawling. Up down, up down, up down and scold, scold and scold is all I do. Don't get me wrong, I love holding my daughter and my fur-babies, but I can't get anything done.
So that leads me to the subject of setting up routines. Which, by the way we are still struggling with! We've agreed on a bedtime and are very happy with the desicion we've agreed to. But now we're stuggling with naps. Should she take one and if so how often and how long? In the orphanage she took an 1 1/2 nap twice a day. In the hotel she did take an hour or two long naps, but since we've gotten home she hasn't. She's taken a few little "power naps" but nothing of great length.
Our daughter "fights" to stay awake. My sisters kids did the same thing too. But I am thinking that Tia is more determined as she will "nod off" while fighting to stay awake by crying. This is a daily thing. And once she does fall asleep, whether it's in your arms or on the floor when you pick her up to put her to bed she wakes up and it starts all over again. It breaks our heart! But we just kiss her good night and turn her cd player on and close the door behind us.
Once she does go to sleep, she sleeps through the night. A good sign we've noticed is that she's not "self soothing" herself as often as she did in China. In fact, I've not heard her do that in more than a week. So that has to say something! Right?
In China we met many wonderful people who now are friends. And although we are all scattered throughout the US, I hope we'll stay in contact with each other as we all understand what it took to get our babies and what it's taking to raise them!
While were in China we got to see some amazing sites like the Great Wall, The Forbidden City, Tienanmen Square and a jade and silk factory with other families who were also there adopting through Holt. As an extra treat to ourselves we went to a Chinese acrobatics show. Our hotel room was a corner room on the 15th floor. Beijing was gearing up for their Christmas and Chinese New Year so the city street was lined with blue lights at night it was just beautiful view from our room! The breakfast buffet was mouth watering to say the least! Just anything you could think of was there and was delicious!!
In addition to us, there were seven other families flying into Guangzhou on January 9. All of us would be meeting our babies the next day at 2 pm. There was a mixture of parents who were adopting again and first time parents. These amazing people become your "family" through adoption. Together we will be completing our adoption journey together.
After we got checked into our room and was all situated, I started freaking out. What am I doing? Can I do this? What if she doesn't bond with us? These were just a few of the questions racing around in my mind. Thank goodness there were others there who felt the same and some of them are parents already to either adopted and or biological children. That was comforting to know that I wasn't alone.
On the "GOTCHA DAY" I was surprisingly calm. When we finally got to the 8th floor of the Chinese Civil Affairs Building with our group, it was complete chaos! In previous videos we saw some sort of order but that was not the case. We did get video of our "GOTCHA DAY" moment but it wasn't as we had imagined it to be. But the video footage we did get was the IMPORTANT part - the hand off!!
Tia.... She is what the Chinese call "spicy" and she is that for sure! She has eight teeth (and working on cutting her back moellers), lots of hair and always has a big loving smile on her face! Even after she wakes up too! She was just learning to walk and it wasn't long before she was tearing up the hotel room! And like her mother, she's always chabbering away!
Since we all bonded so well in China, I HONESTLY thought everything would be the same when we got home as it was in China. Um, yea, NOT! I mean we are still bonded, but the house is not the hotel room. The hotel room didn't have 2 mini beagles who follow her every move or her own room with a much nicer and cushier bed. Home has all these new smells, new rooms and new people who are suddenly there wanting to hold and kiss on her. Something I'm sure she's not used to.
Home for me has also been a challenge. We all came home sick, me being the sickest. So you combine that with jet lag, hormones and lack of sleep you have a lovely combination for an emotional breakdown. Which I did end up having, in the car on the way home from the phamacy. It was definately long over due. I did feel better afterwards, but still......
We knew parenting would be hard. We knew it would change our life as we knew it. And we were accepting of that after 10 years of marriage (in July) and years and years and years of trying and finally waiting. But what we didn't know was how much of a change it would be. First time parents really just don't know or realize the change and there is no way of preparing for the reality of it. Of course we've babysat for my sisters and my mom does run a daycare, but these kids could be "sent home" when you had your fill. This is just not the case!
Then there are all the emotional fears and thoughts running through your head and the questioning of EVERYTHING. I am constantly texting my sister and asking her "what should I do" questions. And now with Sam back to work and it's just me, Tia and the fur-babies. I feel bad because I'm constantly getting on Sadie's case to quit licking Tia or Bandit to quit stealing her cracker. My poor fur-babies are constantly getting scolded and then Tia is constantly at my feet crying to be held. I pick her up she stops crying. After a few minutes, I put her down and she starts bawling. Up down, up down, up down and scold, scold and scold is all I do. Don't get me wrong, I love holding my daughter and my fur-babies, but I can't get anything done.
So that leads me to the subject of setting up routines. Which, by the way we are still struggling with! We've agreed on a bedtime and are very happy with the desicion we've agreed to. But now we're stuggling with naps. Should she take one and if so how often and how long? In the orphanage she took an 1 1/2 nap twice a day. In the hotel she did take an hour or two long naps, but since we've gotten home she hasn't. She's taken a few little "power naps" but nothing of great length.
Our daughter "fights" to stay awake. My sisters kids did the same thing too. But I am thinking that Tia is more determined as she will "nod off" while fighting to stay awake by crying. This is a daily thing. And once she does fall asleep, whether it's in your arms or on the floor when you pick her up to put her to bed she wakes up and it starts all over again. It breaks our heart! But we just kiss her good night and turn her cd player on and close the door behind us.
Once she does go to sleep, she sleeps through the night. A good sign we've noticed is that she's not "self soothing" herself as often as she did in China. In fact, I've not heard her do that in more than a week. So that has to say something! Right?
In China we met many wonderful people who now are friends. And although we are all scattered throughout the US, I hope we'll stay in contact with each other as we all understand what it took to get our babies and what it's taking to raise them!
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